a journal for the journey

Farewell To The Journal, But Not The Journey

Exactly 6 years ago today, I posted my very first blog post.  It was titled, "What Am I Doing?" and was a short intro to a long journey of sharing life online.  For the past year, I have, more or less, stopped blogging to focus on the start of my new ministry, TheTransMission.  During that time, I made some decisions regarding my blog.  First of all, I had not been really happy with the format and service of this blog recently and so I had decided to make a change. Secondly, I have had enough of the Journal/Journey theme and decided to wait until I felt the time was right to make a change.

With that said, I am making this my last post on this blog and I will be starting a new blog very soon. Thank you to everyone who has read this blog over the years. The new blog will still be at www.tommymcgregor.com so if you find this post in the future, click that link to go to the new one. For those who received this blog on subscription, you can do that on the new one too.  Thanks!

Tommy 

God's Vision, My Mission

This following is an article from the May E-Newsletter for TheTransMisison. To see the full publication, click here.

I strongly believe that God has been preparing me for TheTransMission since I was a high school senior myself.  Through my own struggles in college and then spending 17 years in full-time ministry teaching the concepts of faith ownership to students, writing  Lost in Transition ,and finally starting this new ministry, I have been in a process all of my adult life that has led me to this.  I have been blown away by the response from adults and students from all over the country about this ministry, and I am excited about how God will use it.

 

Already this spring, I have shared with hundreds of high school seniors about the opportunities that college can give them if they make their walk with Christ the foundation and cornerstone of their life.  Through the national senior network and speaking/teaching, I have met so many seniors that now have a vision for what their life can be like over the next few years.  God will use them in amazing ways because of this realization that they have discovered.  

 

This is God's vision that has been planted in me.  I have no doubt of this because, like I said when I wrote my book, I am not smart enough to come up with any of this on my own.  Now it's up to me to lead a mission that I feel very strongly is going to change the lives of students for years (and even decades) to come.  

 

To do this I need your help! Here are three ways that you could help me reach these high school and college students that I have been called to.  Please consider responding in any of the three ways that you feel led to:

 

1. Prayer. I believe what it says in James 5 that the prayers of the righteous are "powerful and effective."  I ask that everyone consider praying daily for this ministry and the kids who come in contact with it.  This ministry is still in the very beginning stages, and your prayers are key.  You can pray for opportunities to grow the ministry through more kids and more exposure.  You can pray for the ongoing funding and operating of the mission.  Without prayer, none of this will succeed.

 

2. Connections. I have been trying to share this ministry with everyone that I know in ministry & everyone connected to high school seniors. The more people who know about what I am doing, the more people it potentially will reach.  So please spread the word with people you see daily, church and ministry leaders that you know, and people you come in contact with on social media outlets.  

 

3. Funding. Fund-raising is as hard as you all think it is. I feel I am doing the very best that I can personally do to raise funds, but it is still a month to month process.  If you would consider making a donation &/or think of someone else who might be able to support the ministry, that would make a huge difference in my ability to focus on the mission.  All donations to TheTransMission are tax deductible.

 

In the next few months I will be sharing with you a fuller vision for the Class of 2012. I am very excited to wrap up what has been a beta testing semester and to unveil all that will be in store for the next class. Thank you for your time, prayer, and support.

 

Below are three opportunities for seniors this summer and fall.  Please pass this info on to any graduating seniors that you know.  You can click on the banner to read more about each opportunity.

Statistically Speaking

Many statistics can't be trusted. You'll hear on one national news network that a high percent of Americans believe one thing and the total opposite result on the other channel.  They say that 78.25% of all statistics are not accurate (haha! I made that up!). While many stats are misguided, the one I deal with mostly is not.  

After years of research and working with high school seniors and college freshman, I believe that a range of 70-85% of Christian high school seniors drift away from growth in their faith within 12 months of graduation.  This range is based off of two highly regarded organizations whose research I trust.  

This means that roughly 8 out of 10 Christian college freshman begin to put other things in the place of their relationship with Christ as they start college.  That's staggering, but I believe it.  I believe it because it happened to me.  I believe it because for the past 17 years I have been working in full-time youth ministry and I have seen it happen each and every year.  I believe it because I know that so many Christian high school seniors do not do what it takes to prepare spiritually for college.  

So how does this happen? Well, it's a mixture of a few components, but here is the main one.  For a Christian high school senior, they have had up to 4 major spiritual influences in their life to help them grow to this point in their life.  These four influences are Family, Friends, Church, and Mentors, and these four groups have helped the student build a foundation of faith.  The problem is that when they move off to college, they leave these four influences behind.  It's not that these influences are no longer in their life, but they will become more and more distant as the college freshman lives in this next stage of life.  Then, if you factor in the fact that the social culture in college is often counter to growing in Christ,  you have someone wondering around a new place, looking for something to connect to....and we know the rest of that story!

I believe that if we know the problem, then we can find the solution.  Tomorrow I will post some solutions to this problem as we all try to help college freshman fight against the statistic.  

Dealing With Senioritis

About this time every year, just as spring blooms and the days grow closer to the end of the semester, an intermittent sickness spreads throughout households of those anticipating graduation. Could it be a virus that only affects certain ages at specific times? Might it be brought on by transitional stress at the end of the high school years? Is it contagious and could it potentially become a pandemic? To these and other possible questions: Yes!

This decline in practically every motor, emotional, and sensory function is the affect of a semi-temporary condition known as Senioritis. According to the Senioritis Leadership Association & Council for Kids, or SLACK, Senioritis begins sometime after the start of the college application process and has been known to linger throughout the summer months until the infected moves off to college.  Common symptoms of Senioritis include a basic lack of desire to do anything productive at home or school, and tiredness, even after a three hour nap.  Experts have discovered that this energy deficiency seems to flare up when the affected is anywhere except in close proximally to other inflected individuals in social settings.  The reasons for this is uncertain, but research has authenticated it’s claims.  Other symptoms of senioritis can be, but not limited to, an extreme lack of communication, inability to complete regular household responsibilities, and a decrease in concern for...anything. 

In some cases, symptoms of senioritis have been reported in teenagers as early as the 9th grade. For parents dealing with this condition at home, extreme patiences it required. Treatment can vary and most are deemed ineffective. Studies show that most reasonable attempt to remedy this condition before its natural passing from the system is often met with resistance. Six out of seven doctors agree that the best treatment is prayer and large doses of ibuprofen, for the parent, not necessarily the senior.  Parental caregivers have been known to get through this time quoting such phrases like “This too shall pass”, “They will be gone soon”, and various Psalms on suffering and deliverance.  

Ten Things A Parent Of A Senior Should Do Before Graduation Day

10. Be sure your child knows how proud you are of them. Actions don't always speak louder than words.  They might be too distracted to notice your actions, but need to know how you feel.  It is important to their self-confidence that they know that they have your support. Celebrate them & their accomplishments. 

9.  Begin to give them a little more freedom than you have before.  They will have full freedoms in college and your offering to give them a little more freedom at home now will communicate to them that you understand their desires.  

8.  Spend Time Having Fun Together.  Going on a trip together, having a fun night out, or a family game night at home will develop your family relationship and give you time to spend with your child before they go off to college. Give them great memories of family time.

7.  Have A Talk About Money.  Most college freshman do not know how to manage money.  Whether you give them a credit card, allowance, or they have to get a part-time job, they will be more on their own financially than ever before. They need your help.

6. Have A Talk About Relationships. Many students don't go into college fully understanding that the people they meet and form friendships with will dictate who they become and how they are perceived by others.  College is a very social place and they need to be wise about who they begin to develops relationships with.

5.  Ask Them About Their Goals, Dreams, & Plans. If this doesn't sound like a normal conversation to have with your child, then you are in a relational deficit.  Two reasons this is important: One, asking them to share makes them think about their future and, secondly, it shows them that you care and are interested in them. 

4.  Be Quick To Listen And Slow To Speak. Most teenagers don't think that their parents understand them. They often feel that parents just want to instruct them, which makes this young adult feel more like a child than they want to feel. Ask questions and then listen and resist the urge to subject impute and advice until they ask for it.  

3. Tell Them About Your College Experience. Be careful not to just tell a bunch of party stories without sharing the lessons that you have learned. Don't be afraid to share with them some of your struggles and successes.  Let them know that you were actually in their shoes once and that you understand what they are going through.

2. Make Sure That They Are Signed Up For The TransYear Senior Network. This is not meant to be a shameless plug but rather a way that you can help them fully prepare spiritual for college.  They can sign up by going to this link. 

1. Pray With Them And For Them.  Nothing will tell your child that you care more than to sit them down and pray over them.  If this is not natural for your family, then do it often enough so that it begins to feel more normal.  Let them know that you will continue to pray for them daily while they are in college.

The Will But Not The Way

The other day I was talking to a parent of a high school senior.  The words that she said to me have stayed with me since the moment she said it.  We were talking about her fears, like most parents of graduating seniors, of how her child would be able to go off to college and continue to grow in his relationship with Jesus.  Her prayer was that somehow God would lead her to a way that her child could (in my words, not hers) become spiritually prepared for college.  Her comment to me was that she had the will, but not the way.  What she was saying to me was that she wants desperately for her son to be able to go to college and continue to walk in his faith with Christ, but she wasn't sure how to help him.  That was until we met and I got to share with her what TheTransMission is all about.  

Since our conversation, I have been thinking about these parents and what they must be going through. I know that it is so hard to let go physically to a child and trust that they will be okay.  I have been working with teenagers for over 16 years of my life, but I have never been the parent of one of them. I see kids off to college and I see what happens to many of them.  I can only imagine how my fears would increase 100 fold if it was one of my children struggling.  

So this is what I ask of the parents reading this post.  Either below in the comment section or privately via email, please let me know your fears and concerns.  I would like to begin a conversation of how to help this class of students as they wrap up their senior year and prepare for college.  Share with me your thoughts and stories.  Then, I will use this blog to provide answers and/or continue the conversation.  I welcome any comments; from current parents of seniors, past or upcoming.  I'm looking forward to hearing from you.  

More About The TransYear 2011 Network

As a parent of a high school senior, there is no doubt that you desperately want your child to be as prepared as possible for college.  With the belief that the spiritual transition is the most important and most neglected, we would all agree that a year-long program to help with that transition would be a valuable tool for your family.   Please allow me to share with you today what is available to seniors during this Transition Year.  

For seniors who sign up to TheTransMission national senior network, they will get access to a web site that focuses them for one year (or from when they sign up to the end of 2011) on the spiritual transition into college.  They can sign up at this link.

The TransYear Network gives them materials in the form of a weekly devotional, a daily Bible reading plan, articles, links, videos, and a monthly podcast. All of the content changes every weekend and will continue through the end of their first semester in college.

Here are some examples of what they can find in the TransYear program.  

Weekly Devotional Email- Sent every Monday morning. Here are two random examples:  Example 1    Example 2

Monthly Podcast- Shares thoughts and testimonies for preparing for college.  In January the podcast featured an interview with Bebo Norman and in February with Drew and Ellie Holcomb.  Click here for the link to the podcast page.  

Videos- This is a video that we show at the senior events and it was featured on the TransYear web site a week ago.  It is one of the many testimony videos that will be shown during the year.  

Other Components- There are also links to outside resources in this subject, contests, polls, articles, and a 100 day Scripture Challenge where we lay out a passage to read each day that walks the student through the major themes of the Bible. 

All of this is up to the student to use or not.  They get an email every Monday morning (see examples above) with that week's devotional challenge and links to whats new on the site.  As the student goes through the year and moves from a high school senior to a college freshman, the content will change to what they are dealing with. If you know a senior, please encourage them to join the TransYear Network.  

TheTransMission Promo Video 2011

The State of the High School Senior

Today is March 1. That means that a high school senior, class of 2011, is approximately two months from graduation.  They have spent almost all of their recollected life in school, at home, and under the supervision of loving parents and teachers, but now that is about to change.  With some nervousness and much excitement, they are preparing for a great leap into adulthood where they will have more freedom than ever before. For both parent and student, this is a stressful time of wrapping up one chapter of life and preparing for another.  

At this point in the process, most seniors know where they are going to go to college in the fall. They have taken the tests and have done just about all that they can do academically to graduate.  Many of them have actually “clocked-out” of high school (mentally, emotionally, and maybe even physically) already and are just going through the motions to make it to graduation. Parents are finding it harder to communicate to their senior and focus them on anything constructive as the student and the parent, even more than usual, find themselves on two separate wave lengths.  While the parent wants to draw them in, the senior feels the need to pull apart.  There are always exceptions to this, but for many the tensions at home are being stretched thin.  

In my 17+ years of working in ministry with high school and college students, I have seen this tension create a hard few months before, and even after, graduation.  Soon, the student will be moving out and living on his own, and that creates a polar opposite emotion for the parent and the child.  The main difference in these emotions is that the student can not possibly see this perspective through the eyes of the parent.  They remain focused on the destination of college while wearing blinders that block overall perspective of this transition. Their only logical conclusion to this situation is that the parent doesn’t understand their situation, when in reality, it’s usually the child who can’t see past her own position. 

Spiritually, if your senior is already a committed Christian with visible fruit in his faith, he has most likely gained wisdom and encouragement this year for how to handle this moment on his journey.  Often at this point, I have seen one of two different responses of a Christian senior, depending on the maturity in her faith.  One is that they will make their relationship with Christ a priority as they make the transition from high school to college. These students might be praying through this transitional period and excited to see how God leads them through it.  The other reaction is from a Christian whose understanding of his faith has been more about rules and rituals than of relationship.  These seniors decide that they are tired of “being good” and are ready to “live it up” in college in ways that they could not in high school. Either way, all graduating seniors are standing at the start of a new road and can grow or cease to grow in their walk with Christ as they start college, depending on the choices they make and the people they surround themselves with.   

The overall goal for parents of seniors is to continue to help them prepare for the transition to college. That might mean letting them have some space and letting them decide that they need your help. The key to living peacefully with these young people for the remaining time that they are at home is to pray for them daily and look for opportunities to share wisdom and memories together before they move off to college. 

February Podcast- Drew & Ellie Holcomb

Thanks to my friends Drew and Ellie Holcomb for being on the Feb podcast.  Click the picture above for link to the podcast.